February 2012
199 posts
Me: I'm on a diet so I will look good in a bathing suit!
Me: Mmm, cookie dough for lunch.
ilovesquidward:
when i grow up i want to be judge judy because she says whatever the fuck she wants and she doesnt even care
girls vs boys (bag edition)
thefuuuucomics:
Watchltalian:
sdjklKSDFJK wAHT
Save a Broomstick,Ride a Wizard: 19 Ways To... →
constipation-sensation:
19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask…
rumour:
an atheist named christian
marththebland:
idea #2: whisper “no homo” into your child’s ear every night while they’re asleep just to be safe
unsexual:
mrsstamos:
giving up my virginity for lent
IVE SEEN THIS SO MUCH WHO THE HELL IS LENT
wendysbaconator:
ur like summer
no class
I feel bad for black people that are living in...
whatpartofthegameisthis:
they must feel so pressured to ball so hard
nsect:
well you know that old saying “tell me i’m pretty or i’ll carve your initials into my thigh”
snookidoughicecream:
my mom: did you do your homework???
me: yes!!!!
me:
Citing worldstarhiphop comments in your MLA format...
billyfishkins:
skinny people
“im so fat i can never wear revealing clothing because my fat will show ugh ugh fat ugh”
morbidly obese people
*wears leggings and crop tops*
Watchantistellar:
rilleh:
noteghost:
solaravadamkii:
sumsandsigmas:
nandeyan3n:
gloomy-teen:
sit your whore ass down
so much fucking win
500/10
give that man an award
Nigga had to whip out the daddy dick and put a bitch in her place. Props.
Thats fucked up man
did he really have to talk to her like that?
yes
FIFTY TRILLION ZIMBABWE DOLLARS = FIFTY BUCKS IRL
vouisluitton:
ZIMBABWE MONEY IS LITERALLY MONOPOLY MONEY
friend: someone told me you look like an owl
me: who?
the whole class bursts into a roaring flame of laughter. tears start to fall from their eyes from laughing so hard. the principal walks in the room and slaps his knee. the local animals come in and create waves of laughter. god is laughing so hard he cant breathe. jesus starts clapping his hands and cracking up. the laughter dies down after about 2 hours, and everybody goes home with the memory of the funniest joke they've ever heard.
annawintour:
people who don’t clear unused seconds on the microwave
